Memoirs of a Geisha

{Learning Experience #3}

     Most people say that I have an unlimited amount of stories to tell and to be honest, I would have to agree with them.  I would attribute these stories to my infamous awkward stage that regrettably lasted from preschool to my senior year of high school.  It was the stage that everyone goes through as a child, but for some reason, mine lasted way longer than most.

     I will start at the very beginning.  I was born on December 13, 1994 and I will not insert my baby picture because it would scare most of you reading this blog post.  However, overall, my first few childhood years were golden; people thought I had a cute smile, chubby legs, and pretty hair.  What more could a baby ask for?  But then I began to grow out of my cuteness and unfortunately, into my awkward stage. 

     It was a long day at preschool.  I was ready for my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and juice box.  I was tired and wanted to take a mid-day nap, but we had 20 minutes more of recess.  So, I decided to play tag.  Unfortunately, the game turned into 2 hooligan boys chasing me around the playground calling me “kissy face,” which I did not appreciate.  So, I did what any normal child would do, I bit the boy’s stomach.  Yes, you did hear correctly.  I bit his stomach and then I was sent to the principal’s office, oh happy day.

     Flash forward a year and I decided to become an artist after seeing the wonderful movie, Madeline, repeatedly.  I channeled my inner Picasso as I colored all over the art chairs one day in Kindergarten.  If that was not enough, I made sure to autograph my name all over the chairs with permanent marker, just like Madeline did in the movie.  However, I spelled my last name wrong.  When the teachers asked who vandalized the art chairs, I kept my mouth shut until a couple of hours later when I dramatically stood up in the middle of class and proclaimed, “I did it.  I colored on the art chairs.”  After a meeting with the principal and 2 hours of scrubbing sharpie off the chairs, I felt incredible remorse for my misdemeanor. 

     In middle school, my mom and I went on a cruise to Alaska for a week.  Before we flew back to California, we wanted to get some food so we would not be hungry later.  Burger King was the only place open so we decided to share a hamburger.  Halfway through the plane trip my stomach started hurting, but I assumed it was due to motion sickness.  When we got off the airplane and walked to baggage claim my stomachache continued to worsen.  It got so bad that I had to sit down on the baggage claim strip and close my eyes.  My mom leaned over me and asked me if I was ok and in that single moment, extreme nausea suddenly came over me.  I jerked my head up into my mom’s chin.  She blacked out and started seeing stars as I began throwing up all over baggage claim.  The people on our flight began fleeing the scene like there was some sort of natural disaster.  My mom thought I was blowing my nose until her vision came back and she saw the amount of people bracing themselves from the splash zone.

     As I grew up, I went through many different phases.  One year I wanted to be a chef, another year I wanted to be a fashion stylist, and the next year I wanted to be a filmmaker.  The filmmaker phase lasted a few too many months.  I made countless amounts of movies directed by Alex Smith, written by Alex Smith, edited by Alex Smith, and acted by Alex Smith.  They were all extremely odd and looking back on it now, humorous.  For example, in my freshman year high school history class I decided to film myself reading the “Asian Culture” chapter in my history book in a “Chinese accent” for a total of 20 minutes for a class project.  I put chopsticks in my hair, colored my eyebrows 10 shades too dark, and wore a kimono {picture attached below}.  In another video, I decided to make a murder mystery and film myself dying in a prom dress and a tiara.  Long story short, the entire film was Oscar worthy.

     So, there you have it; here are some key stories of my childhood that help demonstrate my youthful eccentricities.  Since this is a learning experience, I would say that I have learned from the mistakes I made in my awkward stage.  I have learned not to throw up in public places or bite peoples’ stomachs or show an embarrassing home video of yourself to your entire grade.  {To do: Thank my mom for enrolling me in an all girls’ high school to lessen my video embarrassment}.  Hopefully, these experiences will help you avoid scenarios that you will one day regret.

                                                  Pictured above: Memoirs of a Geisha

Drink. Drank. Drunk.

     {Conversation Partner #3}

     Culture can be defined as the “system of learned and shared symbols, language, values, and norms that distinguish one group of people from another.” 

     When Noor and I met again this past week, it was clear that we came from different cultures, if that was not clear already.  Not only do we look completely unique, from Noor’s hijab to my sorority shirt to her tan skin to my white skin, but more significantly, we have been raised in places so utterly dissimilar from one another. For curiosity sake, I looked up how many miles Saudi Arabia is from Texas.  Texas is 7,933 miles away from Saudi Arabia!  Wow.  My mind just exploded.  Texas is not only thousands of miles away from my sweet friend’s new home away from home, but it is also a place filled with completely new adventures, customs, and an entirely different language for her.  I suddenly had more admiration for Noor, better understanding the courage it took for her to make the big move to Texas just a matter of months ago.

     Common sense tells you that a place 7,933 miles away from your home is bound to be quite different in many ways.  So, it made sense when she embarked on an inquisitive question spree. {Therefore I probably should not have been so caught off guard…but I was}.

     We started off with a few easy questions.  What kind of American music is popular? {We shared a pair of headphones over the crammed lunch table and listened to everything from “Riptide” to “Gas Pedal” [no judgment…she enjoyed it].  Then, we talked about movies.  {She told me how hard she cried in The Fault in Our Stars and I shared in her sentiments}.

     And then we got to the good stuff.  Alcohol.

     Noor began by asking me about different kinds of alcohol.  She was specifically confused about one type of alcohol.  She was trying to convey to me which type it was by licking her hand and pursing her lips.  After a few too many seconds, it finally occurred to me that she was talking about tequila.  We had a good laugh and then I explained to her that you grind salt on the back of your hand, lick it, and then suck on a lime wedge.  She seemed very confused by this entire process, and to be honest, I guess I would be too if I had never seen someone take a tequila shot.

     Next, we got into the topic of being drunk.  Noor told me she had seen people stumble, throw up, and blackout in movies and was horrified that people actually wanted to make themselves feel that way.  We laughed and I agreed with her that there are a lot of bad consequences that can occur from drinking too much.  However, I explained to her why some people drink alcohol and that only those who drink too much experience bad side effects.  She seemed slightly relieved.

     Then, she cutely looked around the BLUU to see if anyone was listening to our conversation and lowered her voice an octave.  She whispered, “Have you ever been drunk before?  I promise I won’t tell anybody.”  We both burst out in laughter.
     Now, as I said previously, these questions caught me a bit off guard, but then I realized that I was being quite narrow-minded.  I admit that these questions seemed trivial and silly to me.  However, in Saudi Arabia, Islam dictates the entire culture and daily life.  Consequently, alcohol is illegal.  Additionally, American music is not commonplace in Saudi Arabia, so accordingly, Noor is unfamiliar with much of American media.

     I later asked Noor if she would ever get to taste alcohol.  She explained to me that because she is Muslim, it does not matter if she is in Saudi Arabia or not, she will never drink liquor.  Drinking alcohol is so normal and pervasive in the United States that I have never thought it would be different in other parts of the world.  We live in a world where there are 196 different countries, over 2 million cities, and over 7 billion people co-existing on one planet!  This means there are multitudes of cultures, civilizations, and societies that we are not even familiar with at all.  This is mindboggling to me. 

     A few blog posts ago, I talked about the “TCU bubble,” which I described as the narrow scope many students have during their college years.  Well, this past week I discovered a new kind of bubble that is even more all encompassing: the “American bubble.”  Sitting with Noor time and time again, I am astounded by the amount of information I do not know about her country, customs, and religion.  I am in awe by the differences in our cultures and grateful to have the humbling opportunity to learn more about them.
     My hope for this blog post is to not simply share with you Noor and I’s conversation, but to reconsider how your life would be different if you moved 7,933 miles away from your home.  To be honest, you would probably ask many of the same questions Noor asked me this past week. 

P{izza}ay It Forward

     {Conversation Partner #2}

     Noor and I had lunch again.

     However, this time, she wanted to go to Pizza Snob.  Of course, I more than willingly obliged {because who doesn’t love pizza and good times, am I right?}.  I got out early from a meeting, so I headed to Pizza Snob around 20 minutes early.  I inhaled the aroma of freshly-made dough, smoked Mozzarella cheese, candied jalapeños and garlic-buttered meatballs.  I waited in the absurdly long line and paid for my pizza.  Shortly thereafter, Noor walked in the restaurant with a smile plastered on her face, as usual.  However, she got mad at me because she wanted to pay for my pizza.  She said that was why she wanted to meet at Pizza Snob, instead of the BLUU.

     As she waited for her own pizza, I smiled to myself about how lucky I am to have such a wonderful conversation partner and now, such a wonderful friend.  Her act of kindness immediately reminded me of the movie, Pay it Forward. 

     In the movie, Pay it Forward, a young boy decides to “pay it forward” by doing three good deeds for people, in hopes that those people would each “pay it forward” to three more people.  This idea has a domino effect and eventually impacts an ever-widening group of people unknown to the boy.  Noor’s kindness reminds me of this movie.

     When I first got the assignment to meet with a conversation partner, to be honest, I was not particularly excited about the experience.  I am already extremely busy and do not have a lot of extra time.  However, my first couple of lunches with Noor have been so rewarding.  We are both very comfortable with each other, so it is easy to talk about anything and everything.  She has the biggest heart and is always so welcoming.  This week she even invited me to a girl’s afternoon {they were going to watch The Fault in Our Stars for the first time} with a few of her friends from the IEP program, which was so incredibly sweet.  We bond over our addiction to coffee, our love of fashion, and our intrigue of each other’s cultures.  Friendship is a unifying thing.  It is cross-cultural and powerful.  We are meant to live this life in community and Noor has most definitely shown me that.

     This week, Noor challenged me with the idea of “paying it forward” and doing life with unlikely friends.  If we simply “pay it forward” to just one person a day, imagine how impactful our actions could become in such a short time.  I am definitely going to pay Noor’s kindness back to someone this week, but the real question is, are you?

Al' Salam Alykom

{Conversation Partner #1}

            “Al’ Salam Alykom” means “hello” in Arabic.  This was the first word that Noor taught me. 

            I squirmed in the purple booth in the BLUU as I reread the text messages exchanged between Noor and I.  Her English appeared a bit limited and she seemed confused where things were located (for example, she had never heard of Union Grounds).  My confidence in communicating with someone from another country was quickly diminishing. 

            Beep.

            The cellphone buzz made me jump a little too easily and I directed my gaze down at the new text message.  Noor informed me that she was in the TCU spirit shop and did not know where to go next.  I never considered that she would not know where the BLUU was, so I felt guilty that I did not give her any directions in the first place.  I let her know that she needed to come upstairs.  I waited nervously near the entrance so that she could recognize me.  She said that she was wearing a black and white sweater and a hijab, an Islamic headscarf.  As she entered the BLUU, I waved to her and smiled (I did not know if hugs or handshakes were common in her culture).  She gave me a huge hug and I realized that it was ok to hug back. 

            After we introduced ourselves, we made our way back to the booth and we both got food.  Being the inquisitive person I am, I left no time for awkward silences and neither did social Noor.  We both began asking each other questions about each other’s family, education, religious beliefs, and hobbies.  It was so interesting to hear about her culture, religion, and government.  She showed me some pictures of the streets and houses in Saudi Arabia and it was fascinating to see how different it was than the United States.  For example, in her country, there needs to be at least one guard in front of houses and buildings at all times.

            Her religion, Islam, is also quite distinct.  According to her religion, Noor is not allowed to drive a car or take off her hijab in front of any male that is not a family member.  She must praise Allah 5 times a day and must fast during Ramadan, the ninth month of the lunar calendar.  Noor also explained that she is required to take a Hajj once in her lifetime, which is a pilgrimage to Makkah, the most populous region in Saudi Arabia.  She said that she would want to go with her family, so that the experience would be more special. 

            I was intrigued by her customs and culture but more importantly, so honored that we could share parts of our lives with each other.

            Next, we decided to teach each other words of our own language that the other did not know already.  For example, the TCU Intensive English Program was taking the students to the rodeo last week and Noor was confused as to what they were going to see there.  I explained to her what it entailed and she was quite shocked that people paid money to see animals herded and lassoed.  I also explained what a monarchy was and that her government was a form of monarchy.  In return, she taught me how to say hello in Arabic, both formally and informally.   Then, she taught me to say, “how are you doing” and “goodbye.”  It was so nice to learn about her language and culture.  We made a pact that we are going to help each other learn words and phrases of each other’s languages each week, so we can both grow from this experience.

            Overall, I was astounded by how much English Noor knew because she just started learning the language 4 months ago!  I could understand her much better than I initially thought and we both got a long so well.  She even invited me over to her apartment where she offered to make me dinner one week!

            I can tell Noor and I are going to be great friends because we are so much alike and interested in each other’s lives.  I am excited to see where the next few weeks takes us and proud that our friendship started on the basis of the exchange of a few simple words: “Al’ Salam Alykom.”